more from the mind of mimi smartypants

mimi smartypants:

I know i quote WAY too much of this woman’s writing, but you have to read the whole thing to get it. MY GOD she’s funny. I wish I were this cool about my kids.

“MASTER OF PUPPETS You may remember the ‘Hello, I am a nose’ routine. Well, everything is now a puppet. EVERYTHING. Nora’s puppet-love has gone way beyond her small collection of finger and hand puppets, and now it is not at all unusual for her to pick up a rock, introduce it in a funny voice (‘Hello, I am a rock’), and then badger me into picking up another rock (‘Hello, I am another rock’) and acting out some awkward, inane dialogue. (Truly, there is not much to say when you’re a rock. Although I did teach Nora to exclaim, ‘I’m igneous!’) It becomes tiresome after a while, but for the most part I am totally down with Nora’s lively world of talking inanimate objects.SCENE: Nora is eating peanut butter from a bowl, fingerscoop by fingerscoop, which grosses me out but it has been a ‘choose your battles’ kind of day. Suddenly she raises one finger-glob of peanut butter into the air and says, ‘Hello, I am peanut butter!”Hello, peanut butter!’ I reply. ‘How’s life treating you?”Fine,’ says the peanut butter.We attempt some more small talk, me and the peanut butter glob—Nora has him (?) say, ‘I came from a bowl’ and ‘I am sticky and good for your body,’ both of which phrases I mentally resolve to try and use the very next time some drunk idiot chats me up in a bar. Then Nora suddenly puts the glob in her mouth, pulls her finger out, and yells in the peanut-butter voice, ‘Ahhhh! Where is me?’ That, my friends, is Dadaist puppet theater at its best—when the puppeteer suddenly chows down on the star of the show. The end! Curtain! House lights up! Thank you for coming!”

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