3. Change your usual pattern.
Simple ways to reduce hurtful relating include thinking before you speak, agreeing or apologizing where you can, simply offering a hug, or suggesting what both of you could do differently in the future. Ways of nurturing relationships include simply finding time to talk and really listen to your partner, loving touches as you walk past them, telling them what you appreciate, a loving note or phone call because you were thinking about them, or cutting them slack when they are human. The important thing is that you do something different and notice what helps.