Angel Station: Watermelon Man
Lest me just rant here for a while. About seedless watermelons, and why I hate them.
1. Theyre not seedless The seeds are puny, but theyre there. So even calling them seedless is a misrepresentation. They should be “weeny-seeded watermelons.”
2. They dont taste good They dont taste awful, but they dont have the full rich flavor of a real watermelon. Which begs a whole other rant about why people buy food that doesnt taste good, but maybe Ill develop that thought later.
3. They dont hold up A seedless watermelon will deteriorate in an alarming way just a few days after you buy it. And not only does it decay, it breaks down into some kind of horrible, disgusting slime. This happens even if you refrigerate it. If I want food with ichor on it, Id eat raw goldfish, thank you very much.
4. Theyve driven real watermelons out of the marketplace I cant seem to find an old-fashioned, tastes-good, seeded watermelon anywhere. Maybe if I get lucky at the farmers market, but nowhere else.
So heres whats happened: for the convenience of not having to spit out watermelon seeds, people have settled for a product that doesnt taste good and that breaks down into a slimy puddle right there on the refrigerator shelf.
Can someone explain why people do this? Or are they just Fucking Stupid?